The Floating World
by ms asphyxia
Summary: TatsuhaxRyuichi. Like a picture of the floating world, Ryuichi finds beauty in snowy Kyoto.


The first time that they met, Tatsuha was just a child. 

It was the middle of a Kyoto winter, which meant that the ground was covered in perfect snow as far as the eye could see, only branches and roofs poking out and giving a bit of color to the landscape. Puffs of smoke coiled into the air from traditional homes without central heating, a modern luxury that Ryuichi was accustomed to and therefore could not imagine life without. Even still, it made him feel inspired to be so far from the city and normal modern life. This was like something out of a picture, those floating world pictures they'd shown him in school where everything seemed to somehow be blowing in an invisible breeze-- alive but frozen at the same time.

Yes, it was all very pretty to Ryuichi.

Except he was shivering, bouncing through the snow to keep the bottom of his pants from getting too wet as Tohma led him towards the Uesugi household. He'd come along only because there had been nothing else to do and road trips with Tohma were a lot of fun, even if Tohma didn't let him do everything that he wanted. When he tried to steal candy for the fun of it, Tohma took it away and paid for it. Sometimes Tohma could be no fun. Ryuichi didn't mind too much, though, because to make up for it, Tohma sped down the highway at twice the speed limit.

Besides, he was too happy to stay mad, never mind that being mad at Tohma had never been easy for him in the first place. In two weeks, they were going to New York to live. Ryuichi could hardly wait. He'd actually gone to the library and read every book that he could about New York, even some of the ones in the adult section. And even though he wasn't that good at English, he'd picked up English magazines and flipped through them to study the pictures. It didn't matter that they were taking Tohma's fiancée's middle brother with them because Ryuichi wasn't worried. Tohma had promised him that they'd have lots of time to play together, and Ryuichi always believed everything Tohma told him.

Ushered along by Tohma, who knew his penchant for distraction, they safely made it into the house with no critical spills or slips. Inside, the dark light, warm air, and incense smell made Ryuichi feel instantly sleepy and he hugged Kumagorou against his chest out of habit. A soft tap on his lower back awoke him to the custom of removing his shoes when he stepped inside, which he did immediately. In reward, Tohma gave him a smile and pulled him along further inside.

Turning his head shamelessly from side to side, he studied everything in the house. Hanging on the walls were Buddhist things he knew were Buddhist only because this house was part of a temple tradition, in addition to family pictures, art prints of swaying trees and Zen cliffs that he remembered from art class as images of the 'Floating World', and family heirlooms. Ryuichi loved the rice papered doors he saw separating rooms almost as much as he loved the smell of tea in the air.

The sight of the eldest Uesugi was a bit frightening. He'd never seen a more stern looking man as the one who walked into the room, shuffling in socks, his robes draped perfectly. Ryuichi tried not to laugh at the sight of the light reflecting from the man's bald head, stuffing Kumagorou into his mouth to muffle the sound. Only a soft snicker was released before he felt Tohma's elbow poke into his side.

"Good afternoon," the old man greeted, Mika standing behind him with a curious look on her face. Yes, she knew that they had been coming over, but she was wary of her father's reaction to them standing there. Eiri's trip to New York was still on tentative grounds, provided Tohma assured him properly that his oldest son would be taken care of so far away from home.

"Good evening," Tohma said in his soft voice, the one Ryuichi loved most of all, as he gave a respectful bow. Ryuichi tried to mimic it even though his bow was more a quick jerk, clutching Kumagorou all the more tightly to his chest, gnawing viciously at his ear. Later, Ryuichi knew he'd have to make up for his unconscious violence to his best plush friend, so he whispered a soft sorry so that Kumagorou wouldn't get too mad. When Kumagorou was angry, he gave Ryuichi the silent treatment, which Ryuichi hated more than when the store was out of his favorite candy.

"I made tea," Mika ventured, putting her hand on her father's arm while the other hand motioned to the table that had laid out a wooden plate with a small tea kettle and small cups that Ryuichi knew not to touch because he'd surely break one or all of them. He'd made that mistake before, though thankfully never here. He didn't want to mess this up for Tohma because he knew how much this meant to Tohma and how much Eiri meant to him, too.

"Why don't we sit and talk," the elder granted, leading the way to the table, kneeling in front of the table.

The thought of sitting down to drink tea in this sleepy house full of sleepy smells and sleepy lights was unendurable to Ryuichi, so he gave Tohma a desperate, pleading gaze up through his eyelashes. It was the one he used when he wanted permission from Tohma not to be a grown up for a little while.

He knew he had gotten his way when Tohma gave him a soft smile and pet his arm in that manner that made him smile and fill with warmth.

"Why don't you go outside and play," Tohma murmured.

Ryuichi repressed the urge to shout, giving only a slight bounce and nod. Kumagorou's ear fell from his mouth when he smiled. "I'll be outside," he said, eager to get out into the snow to roll around. Kumagorou loved the snow and Ryuichi loved to make small Kumagorou snow statues in it. It made Kumagorou so egotistical, but Ryuichi couldn't help but spoil him. Dashing back to the door they'd entered, he grabbed his shoes and stuffed his feet in them as quickly as possible.

Tohma was just kneeling next to the table when Ryuichi slid open the door with a satisfactory snap of victory. Jumping out, he landed with both feet in the snow, dropping Kumagorou in the process.

"Sorry!" he cried, free of the confines of the house now and free to be as loud as he wanted. Stooping, he picked up Kumagorou and did his best to dust his face off, taking special care to wipe his nose because bunnies had soft noses that were prone to getting cold.

Then again, so did he.

Pressing his hand to his nose, he sniffed, rubbing it.

Sighing happily, he plopped down into a sitting position, careless of the cold wetness that was seeping through his jeans. When he sighed, he watched the puff of smoke release from his mouth with a grin.

"Look, Kumagorou, I'm a dragon," he announced, repeating the motion again for Kumagorou to see. "Just like in the book Noriko bought me for my birthday with all the dragons from around the world. I liked the one with the wings the best even though he looked mean and scary. I know, I know, you liked the green one with all the jewels. I do, too. That one was really neat looking."

He and Kumagorou always had the best conversations.

Rising to his feet, he patted off his butt and let the feathery snow that had yet to melt and clung to his pants fall back down to the ground in the hollow he'd made sitting. Cradling Kumagorou so that he could see, too, Ryuichi stepped towards the bridge that spanned a small pond, staring down into it. The water looked cold, too cold, and it made him shiver. Inside, fish swan lethargically around and Ryuichi felt bad for them because the thought of being in frigid water was horrible. Definitely uncomfortable.

"Hello, fishies, are you cold?" he asked them, leaning on the wooden railing on the tips of his toes to get a better view. The old wood creaked with his full weight against it, but it was sturdy. "Do you like the snow, too? It's real pretty."

They didn't answer, but he was satisfied with that. They were still his new friends anyway, even if they didn't want to talk to him or Kumagorou, who could be an unfriendly bunny himself at times.

Turning his head upwards, he ignored the soft flakes coming to land on his skin, melting against his cheeks. It was wonderful to see the sky without buildings dotting every inch of the horizon, blinking lights and airplanes above. It was so peaceful here.

Humming softly to himself, he pushed away from the bridge railing and walked the rest of the way across, jumping again into the snow when he reached the other side.

"They must like the water a lot to want to swim in this weather," he noted to Kumagorou as he trekked over the snow, listening to it crunch and pack below his feet.

The sakura had months to go until they bloomed, so the trees were just thin and naked strands in the air, layered with snow that threatened to weight the branches down. Despite the dying atmosphere, Ryuichi thought it was invigorating. It made him feel more alive.

Wandering near the closest sakura tree, he patterned his footsteps in a confusing zig-zag, laughing at the way he looked when he pressed himself to the tree trunk and looked over his shoulder. To him, it looked like a drunk man stumbling on his way home. Putting his cheek against the cold, pale bark, he set Kumagorou down in the snow, letting him sit and rest for a while.

Prepared to join him and perhaps start making his Kumagorou snow statues, he found his eyes drawn to a single black spot in the whiteness that covered every inch of his surroundings.

Focusing, it took him a few seconds to register that the black dot was moving slightly, though only from side to side now and then.

Straightening up again, gripping the trunk tightly, he stared and watched. From this view, he could see better what this thing was.

Dressed in a dark robe with tanned skin and black hair was a young boy, a child, playing quietly and stationary in the snow. He knelt, his small body buried to his hips, naked hands mounding snow together. He seemed so peaceful there, like something from a painting, like something from one of the old Floating World paintings inside of the house. Frozen but active at the same time. It fit so flawlessly that Ryuichi couldn't imagine this being anything other than a song in his head. The boy looked perfectly placed here in the snow, dressed in a traditional robe, his slightly messy hair falling over his soft, dark cheeks.

It was hard to miss the features that marked 'Uesugi beauty,' even in a child still pudgy from his babyhood.

Ryuichi gave a shiver, ignoring that it wasn't from the cold.

Shoving off from the tree, he took a few steps away from it, watching the quiet child press down his mound and begin again. Despite being intent, the child was slow with patient and peaceful ease. A few more steps and Ryuichi could see round, darkly lashed eyes as black as the hair that fell over them in light feathers. To Ryuichi, the eyelashes and hair looked like the softest things he'd ever seen, softer than Kumagorou, and he wanted to touch them to confirm his suspicion. His hand absolutely ached with the desire to walk up and just touch the child's face without permission.

He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he was floating just above the snow now instead of stepping into it, making his path. Nothing could be flawed in this setting, everything was seamless and unspoiled. Not even his heavy breathing in the snow, louder with caution, was audible to him. It was like silence and slow motion, delicate flakes of snow falling at half speed around him as he walked closer. Only the boy moved at normal speed, the only thing that made sense now in this floating, dreamy world.

Something stirred in him, something he tried to ignore.

The sight of white snow flakes dusting stark black hair was better and more beautiful than any lyric Ryuichi had ever heard or written. The layer building over shoulders that barely moved enough to cast it off made it look like the boy would soon be buried.

Ryuichi realized that he was holding his breath now. Releasing it made him feel ragged and loud, but the boy just a few feet away from him didn't seem to notice.

Small shoulders shifted as small, dark hands reached for another pile of snow. When he moved, snow fell down like he was the very source of it, fitting perfectly with the rest of the snow on the ground. Up close, Ryuichi could see the pink of cold cheeks, hands, and lips. Again, something in him stirred. The way the boyish body moved was fluid, so unlike the jerky, common motions of the children he saw running around the shops in Tokyo, creating a fun ruckus that he was all too happy to join. Kumagorou, too.

Ryuichi didn't know why he felt so nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it was because he was practically standing over the boy, breathing down his neck. Whatever the cause, he shifted inside, his stomach fluttering. He was almost close enough now to touch the boy's hair, to confirm its softness. Ready to clear his throat, he started when he heard a sudden shout.

"Tatsuha! Come inside and have some tea! It's freezing," Mika called, her silhouette against the opening of the door that Ryuichi had come out of.

Diving backwards, he almost ran into another tree.

The boy looked up, snow falling from him everywhere in a messy flurry.

"Coming!" the boy called.

Tatsuha.

Jumping to his feet, the child began to brush at his clothes, stepping carelessly into his new mound. When he stood up, he turned around and looked up. Up right at Ryuichi.

Ryuichi felt like snow, like ice, frozen inside but melting inside with something hot and coiling, tense.

Perfect black eyes stared into his and nailed him to the spot, unable to move or to speak.

"Hi," Tatsuha said, smiling brightly. Ryuichi had never seen a smile prettier, more playful or more fun.

And all he could do was give a slight smile, hand jerky as it lifted to wave in greeting.

Returning the wave with more fluidity, the boy laughed and Ryuichi was sure that it was because of him, because of his weird manner.

"Tatauha, hurry! It's cold!" Mika called, which broke their gaze as Tatsuha turned to look at her.

"Okay, okay!" Tatsuha said with a hint of childish impatience. For just a second, he looked back and shrugged as if to apologize for Mika's insistence. "Bye."

"Bye," Ryuichi murmured, grabbing the tree trunk he was closest to.

Just like that, short legs were off in a dash through the snow. The run was so easy and so light that the snow barely moved under it. Ryuichi watched Tatsuha all the way to the door, the stirring in him quickening to something sad. Desperate.

Before the door closed, he felt something prickle against his neck and he looked up, catching Tohma's eye as Mika passed him with her hand against Tatsuha's head, combing out his wet hair. Tohma's look was suspicious and curious.

For reasons Ryuichi wasn't quite sure of, he felt a sudden rush of hot guilt. Tohma looked at him with so much suspicion that he felt like he had done something bad even though he had just been standing there.

"Get Kumagorou and come on," Tohma finally called, stepping out of the house. "We're going now."

Ryuichi reached for his waist to grab Kumagorou, his hand brushing empty air. With a quick startle, he looked down to see empty space where Kumagorou should have been, something he wasn't used to. Swallowing hard, his head whipped around in search, spotting a small fraction of pink fabric almost buried under snow near the tree where he'd left him.

Kumagorou was going to be so mad at him for forgetting him.

Running as fast as he could to his bunny, he scooped him up and clutched him close, whispering another round of apologies to stave Kumagorou's wrath of silence. Hugging Kumagorou, he felt Tohma's arm wrap around his waist, guiding him through the snow back towards his car.

Just before he was ushered in, he looked back at the house. All he could see were walls and windows, nothing of what was happening inside. Nothing about the dark haired boy named Tatsuha. Ryuichi felt his floating world fading away when the car door closed as if it were locking him away so far from what he wanted. The dream of only moments ago was beginning to give way to a stark and different reality of routine and convention. Tohma slid in next to him, busying himself with buckling Ryuichi in as he stared out of the window at the house, hoping that the wall would suddenly turn transparent so that he could get one more look inside at Tatsuha.

"He's going to let Eiri come," Tohma said when he was done and the car was started, warming up.

"Huh?" Ryuichi asked, still half in a state of distraction and silent pleading.

"Eiri. His father has given me permission to take him to New York with us," Toham clarified, his voice ever patient with Ryuichi's forgetfulness.

"Really?" Ryuichi tried his best to sound happy and normal even though he felt a sense of missing something so strong it hurt his stomach, made him want to throw a tantrum and demand that his want be fulfilled. "That's great, Tohma!"

"Yes," Tohma agreed, a small smile on his face as he looked out of the windshield and put the car into drive, guiding it with hands that seemed as light as snow against the dark steering wheel. The feeling in the car was tense and Ryuichi again felt guilty.

Tohma could always read his mind. Even though Ryuichi didn't know why it made him feel so guilty, but he had a feeling that Ryuichi knew more about what was in his head than he did. That was part of his confusion, like Tohma knew a secret about what had happened and didn't intend to share it with him.

"Two weeks," Ryuichi said with a sigh. This time, though, it wasn't out of excitement or a pout because he wanted then to come soon so that he could have fun in America. It was because in two weeks, everything would change. This world would be so far away, this floating and dreaming world of fluttering flakes of snow against soft black hair and small shoulders.


End file.
